Stubby
by InsanityInside
Summary: Some one-shots inspired by a certain article in the Quibbler.
1. Magical Creatures

_We all know more or less, how much truth there was in_ that _article. But have you ever wondered where it came from? Well, here's one possible explanation. I'm probably going to write some more later on, if I have time (: _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even one Crumple-Horned Snorcack. I wish I did. Snorcacks are cool (:_

**1. Magical creatures**

'I wonder what old Kettleburn came up with this time' said James as the group of Gryffindors and Ravenclaws waited for the Care of Magical Creatures lesson to begin.

'I can't believe it! You're actually interested in the lesson?'

'Well, he said he'd prepared something special for today, you know. So I'd like to know what it is.'

'Maybe Crumple-Horned Snorcacks?' a Ravenclaw joined the conversation.

'What are Crumple-Horned Snorcacks?' Peter wanted to know.

'They're Lovegood's favorite animals of course,' James explained 'They are really fascinating!'

The Ravenclaw seemed happy to hear that someone agreed with him.

'But they are very rare,' James continued 'So rare that nobody's ever seen one!'

The four Gryffindors laughed. Lovegood was disappointed now.

'No, really,' Remus said 'I wonder if they really exist.'

James and Sirius looked at him oddly. Then Lovegood looked at all three of them in the same way.

'Why of course they do!' he said.

'Yeah, right,' Sirius laughed 'And my name is Stubby Boardman'

A few weeks later the whole incident was forgotten. In fact, nobody _ever _thought about it too much. Except maybe…

XXX

_Some 20 years later…_

'Daddy!' Luna shouted as she entered the room.

Mr. Lovegood put down the newspaper he had been reading. Of course, he didn't believe in all the nonsense the _Daily Prophet _published, but he read it anyway, because he found some of those ridiculous ideas very amusing.

'What's the matter, Luna?' he asked.

'I was just walking in the forest,' the girl informed him 'and I found some Snorcack footprints. Maybe we could follow them and see if we can find the Snorcack itself,' she suggested.

'All right, let's go,' said the father, standing up.

And then he remembered… Crumple-Horned Snorcacks… He remembered that Care of Magical Creatures class back at Hogwarts. He remambered what Potter had said. And Lupin. And then Black…

He had always thought there's something fishy about Black. Something in the story just _didn't seem right_. He'd even considered a rather strange theory involving a supposedly dead Death Eater and some kid's pet rat, but he realised it was too incredible to publish. Nobody would believe it! This one however seemed to make sense. It explained why Regulus Black had always said 'He's not my brother!' about Sirius. It explained why Sirius had said the same about Regulus a couple of times. It explained many things.

'I get it now,' Mr. Lovegood thought 'For a while I thought he didn't believe in Crumple-Horned Snorcacks…'


	2. Don't tell Doris

_InsanityInside strikes back ;P I finally have some time, so here's another theory (:_

**2. Don't tell Doris!**

'Doris managed to get some tickets for the concert next Friday,' Lily informed her husband and his friends 'Want to come?'

'I'd love to, darling,' James said 'But I think I… erm… I have to stay at work late on Friday'

'Yeah, I'm busy too. Tell Doris I wish I could go to that concert wih her, but I can't…'

'Isn't it… you know…one of _those_ nights?'

'I… er… don't really like this kind of music…'

Of course, Lily knew perfectly well, that James never worked that late on Fridays, Peter simply loved this sort of music and the nearest full moon was on Sunday. But she also knew that asking any more questions was no use. They wouldn't tell her anything anyway.

'All right,' she said a little disappointed 'I guess we'll go without you.'

'Have fun.'

As soon as she left the room, the four men looked at each other and laughed.

'Wonder if they'll ever work it out…'

'I'd rather they didn't.' James said.

'And why not?' Peter didn't understand.

'I don't know what Lily will do if she does.'

'Can't we at least tell Doris?' Sirius asked.

'What the hell do you want to tell Doris for!' James wanted to know.

'I… err… think she might _like_ me if she knows about it…'

'But you know what Doris is like,' Remus said 'If you tell her a secret it's not a secret any more!'

XXX

'Wonder what the boys are up to' Lily said as she and Doris made their way through the crowd at the concert.

'I thought they were at work or somewhere?' Doris said.

'Well that's what they told me, but I'm not quite sure I believe them.'

'Oh, well' Doris didn't seem worried at all 'They just don't know what they're missing.'

Suddenly the audience exploded with cheers. The girls looked up at the stage and saw that Paul, Robert, Jack and Stubby were already there. Doris sighed, gazing at the lead singer as he picked up his guitar.

XXX

Near the end of the concert the crowd began to go a little wild. Random objects started to fly in all directions. Probably nobody knows, who threw the unfortunate turnip, but it hit Stubby in the head, and the sunglasses he usually wore on stage fell off. Doris hardly noticed it at all (This was about the _only_ moment of the concert when she wasn't staring at the singer.), but Lily realised that he looked oddly familiar without them. She looked at the rest of the band. Robert and Paul looked sort of familiar too. And Jack… Suddenly Lily realised where she had seen him. And who he was. And why the boys hadn't come to the concert with them.

'What's the matter, Lily?' asked Doris, as Stubby picked up his glasses.

XXX

'Hobgoblins, eh?' Lily asid angrily as she entered the room. The four men looked at her in shock. 'Why the hell didn't you tell me!' she demanded.

'Told you we should have told the girls,' Sirius said to James.

'Lily, I'm sorry…' James said, ignoring his friend.

…

'Just don't tell Doris, ok?' James said when the argument was over and Lily had calmed down at last.

'And why the hell not?'

'Well, you know what she's like…'

'Yeah,' Remus added 'If you tell Doris, she will tell _everyone_…'

XXX

Some fifteen years later… 

'What's so funny?' Remus asked. Sirius stopped laughing, looked up at him and handed him the magazine he had been reading.

'She's worked it out,' he said. Still confused, his friend quickly read the article.

'Told you,' he said 'If you tell Doris a secret, it's not a secret any more.'


	3. Decisions

_Probably the most popular theory. I think I've already read a fic about it. But it's really not easy to be original all the time. And besides, I wanted to write something about how I imagine Regulus.(1) You see… He's not evil. He's not even stupid… He's just… I don't know… Well, this is slightly exaggerated, I guess, but you see what I mean…_

_

* * *

(1) I think I like him. He's an interesting character. Probably because we don't know anything about him…_

**3. Decisions**

Regulus stared at the Dark Mark on his arm. Then he looked up at his name on the family tree, in shiny gold thread. Why was he sitting here in the middle of the night when he should be sleeping? Well, he was not quite sure of it himself. But he couldn't sleep and he just felt that he needed to think about things tonight. He had never really been sure of anything in his life. Quite pathetic, he knew, but he just wasn't good at making decisions. He admired people like his cousin, Bella, people who really believed in their cause… Hell, even his crazy brother! His decisions might have been crazy, but at least he had made some. Regulus had never really made any. He merely did what he thought he should do. What he thought other people expected of him. He was a perfect son. He had been a good student. He never argued with his friends, because he didn't think his own opinion is that important.

He looked at the Dark Mark again. Bella had talked him into joining the Death Eaters. That hadn't really been his decision either. Right now he thought it should have been. 'What is the point really,' he thought 'if I never really wanted it?' He looked at the tree again. Well, at least he was still on it. He hadn't been burned off for speaking his mind too loud. He hadn't spoken his mind.He hadn't had to leave the house because Mother was making his life hell. He hadn't given her a reason.He looked at the small dark spot on the tree, where his brother's name had been a few years ago. Now the name wasn't there any more. Regulus didn't call him be the name even in his thoughts, because Mother didn't want him to talk about him… (But then, why was he calling him his _brother_?)

Well, he was not there. He had made his decision. And Regulus's decision had been made for him. He thought for a moment about how different the decisions had been. But then, it was a war and you just had to pick one side. There were only two paths for the Black boys to choose from: the dark spot on the family tree, or the Dark Mark on the arm…

XXX

Another night. Once again he was wide awake, sitting in front of the family tree. 'That's it,' he thought 'I'm thinking too much.' Something was happening. Something was changing.

'I really am thinking too much,' he said to himself 'And it is too late for thinking now. I have… My decision has been made. There are only two paths to choose from. And I just don't like the other one.' But he couldn't force himself to believe that he liked this one. If it was up to him, he wouldn't choose at all.

XXX

Another night. It's always like this. When people begin to think too much, things start to happen to them. And now they were after him. He knew he was going to die. 'So much for making decisions,' he thought. He had finally made one. Apparently, not a good one. At least, the Dark Lord didn't like it.

But thinking has its advantages too. You can have an _idea_. And Regulus suddenly realised that he actually had one. He had thought there were only two ways, but now he saw a third one. He made his second decision very quickly. He stood up and took out his wand. A few seconds later another date appeared next to his birth date. It looked quite convincing. He went to his room to pick up a few most important things and left the house…

XXX

Something moved in the darkness. He looked around and understood. A Death Eater! So he had been right. Well, he had always known that he couldn't just leave. But for this one moment he had thought he could escape. Disappear from here and start a new life somewhere else. But now his hope was gone.

'Well,' the man said to him 'That's a surprise! I was worried I'd have to wake everybody up…'

Regulus knew that voice. For a moment he thought it was funny. The other man was wearing a mask, but it hardly made him more difficult to recognize.

'Snape?' he said.

'Who cares who I am? You know what I'm here for, don't you?'

If he wasn't about to die, Regulus would laugh. He knew Snape's little secret. The situation was just too absurd. And yet, here they were, two traitors, standing there in the dark street with their wands in their hands. If the Dark Lord knew he had sent a _spy_ to kill him…

There might be hope after all, he realised. He could try. He didn't have much to lose after all.

'Yes I know,' he said 'But are you _really_ going to do it?'

Snape hesitated. To people who didn't know him he usually seemed mean, cruel, maybe even evil. And it was true that he wasn't really a _nice_ man. But he just hated killing…

XXX

_November 1st 1981…_

The man known as Stubby Boardman stared into the space in front of him, thinking. A lot had happened recently. He had not had much to do with it, but he had known people who had. He wondered where they were now, what they were doing, what they were feeling. The Death Eaters, whose leader had disappeared and the Order members, whose friends were dead. He had known he didn't like either side. And he wasn't on anybody's side any more. He didn't really care, for him it was just another pleasant evening with Doris…

But was it really?

Something caught his eye. It was a very old photograph. Two dark-haired boys waved at him from the photograph, the older one dressed in red, the younger in green. He liked this picture. In the picture the two boys were brothers. In real life they were a Slytherin and a Gryffindor, and later a Death Eater and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. They hadn't spoken to each other for so many years. They had chosen different paths.

'What's the matter?' Doris asked

'I'm just wondering what my brother is doing,' he told her.

XXX

The boy in red was no longer a child, of course. He wasn't as cheerful as he had once been either. He was furious. He had just lost everything. He was looking around, searching for the person who was responsible for this. He didn't really know what he would do to him. He would decide when he'll find him. He was much better at making decisions than his brother. Although maybe sometimes he should think about them a little longer… Or in a better time… Half an hour before, not twelve years after…


	4. Neither true, nor false

_So we didn't see more of Stubby in HBP. I'm a bit disappointed. Oh, well, at least I can make up more weird theories (:_

_II(:_

_PS. Warning: Might contain spoilers ;P_

**4. Neither true, nor false**

'This is really weird,' Harry said 'Using an article from _the Quibbler_ to look for Voldemort's Horcruxes.'

'It's not like an article from _the Prophet_ would be more useful,' Luna pointed out.

'Still, this is ridiculous,' said Ron 'I mean, this _can't_ be him. And even if it was, it doesn't mean it was _him_. For all we know, R.A.B. could stand for Really Annoying Bugger!'

'But Regulus Black seems to fit…'

'But this Boardman guy doesn't!' Hermione argued 'Harry, you can't believe all ideas Luna gets from _the Quibbler_. There's no such thing as a Crumple-Horned Snorcack, no Rotfang Conspiracy and this guy _cannot_ help us -'

Luna looked rather offended at this, but instead of trying to argue she simply said

'Only one way to find out,' and knocked on the door.

After a few seconds the door was opened by a man who, to Harry's surprise, resambled Sirius quite a lot. It would be hard to mistake the two of them, but judging by the way Stubby Boardman looked, they could have been related in some way.

'NO, NO AND NO!' the man shouted 'NOW LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU QUIBBLER-READING FREAKS!' And he slammed the door before they could say anything.

'He's got his mother's temper,' Ron observed.

'He won't let us in,' Hermione said 'Now can we please go? It's not -'

'No. I need to talk to him,' Harry told her. He'd had some doubts about it in the beginning, but now he was almost sure of it. He knocked on the door once again.

'What is your problem?' Boardman asked furiously as he opened the door again.

'Glad you want to talk about it,' said Harry 'We need your help.'

After a few minutes of arguing it turned out that Luna's _Quibbler_-inspired idea had been far from the truth. Not _very_ far, though. Stubby Boardman finally agreed to tell them _the story_…

XXX

_Much earlier…_

Stubby opened the door to see a face disturbingly similar to his own, although considerably younger.

'Rigel(1), is that you?' the stranger asked. Stubby stared at him. Noone had called him that for a long time. Few people knew his real name at all. How did the stranger know? And who was he anyway?

'Yeah, but don't call me that,' he told him 'I don't like that name.'

That might have been because his name, Rigel Antares(2), was the only thing he could think of that his biological parents had ever given him. He had hated the name ever since he found out that he had been adopted and his real mother and father didn't want to have anything to do with him just because he was a Squib. (He was about o find out that maybe he had been lucky after all.)

'How did you know it anyway?' he asked.

'It wasn't easy,' the young man admitted 'but I just really needed to find you…'

'And why is that?'

'It is a long story. Can I come in?'

'All right,' said Stubby. He wasn't sure it was a good idea, but he didn't have a better one.

'Ok,' said Stubby once they were both inside his flat 'Who are you, what do you want and why do you want it from _me_ of all the people?'

The guest took a deep breath and began to answer the last question.

'My other brother wouldn't want to talk to me,' he said 'Telling anybody else wouldn't be safe. I'd have to tell you the whole story to explain it properly.'

'But why me? I still don't get it. And what do you mean by "my other brother"?'

'I told you -' the stranger paused for a moment 'I haven't, have I?' Stubby shook his head, still rather confused 'Well,' the stranger finally introduced himself 'My name is Regulus Black.'

The name most certainly did ring a bell. And the bell didn't sound cheerful. Black was the name of Stubby's biological parents.

'Oh, is it?' he said. He wasn't sure he liked Regulus.

'I'm your brother… kind of…'

'Oh, I figured out that much,' Stubby said 'You could easily be my _clone_. Except that you're not a Squib, of course. So what do you want?' he asked 'Why do you suddenly remember a lousy Squib you never wanted to have in your family?'

'Erm… I…' Regulus hesitated 'Would like you to help me hide something.' He produced a rather ancient-looking golden locket.

'What the hell is that?' Stubby asked.

'Trust me, you're safer not knowing,' Regulus assured him 'I can tell you a bit of the story, but you don't want to know _all _of it.'

'So what am I supposed to do with it?' Stubby asked, having heard what seemed like the whole story of Regulus's life.

'Just keep it safe for me for a while,' Regulus said 'You know. Don't tell anybody we've ever met, hide it somewhere nobody can find it, that sort of stuff. I'll come back to pick it up as soon as it's safe, I promise.'

XXX

'But he never came back,' Stubby finished the story 'They got him about two days after that.'

Harry stared at him in disbelief.

'You… you've got the locket?' he asked.

'Uh…' Stubby didn't seem to know what to do. But it was too late to deny it 'What do you want it for?'

'We have to destroy it,' Ron said before he could think about it.

'I was supposed to keep it _safe_.'

'I'm sure that's not what Regulus meant. He wanted to destroy it himself.'

'Oh, did he?' said Stubby suspiciously.

Suddenly Hermione had an idea.

'You still don't know what it is, do you?' she asked.

'No idea,' he admitted.

'If we tell you, will you give it to us?'

'I'll think about it.'

XXX

'I told you,' Luna said.

'You told us many things…' Hermione pointed out.

'So what do we do now?' Ron wanted to know.

'How about finding out the truth about the Rotfang Conspiracy?' Luna suggested.

'For the last time, Luna,' Hermione said angrily 'There's no such thing as -'

She stopped talking suddenly. A Crumple-Horned Snorcack ran across the road.

* * *

(1) a star in Orion, I think. 

(2) a star in Scorpio. Check out his initials, by the way ;)

_The Snorcacks **are** real! Why doesn't anybody believe me? _

_Oh yeah. Knowing the Black family, Squibs don't show up on the family tree. I justdidn't know where to put it in the story._

_II(:_


End file.
